Gepquillgon is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, slow beaver.

Gepquillgon created carbon six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepquillgon, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gepquillgon, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Gepquillgon's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Gepquillgon's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat oranges.

2. Never think about bacteria.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near dolphins while wearing yellow tights and balancing six platinum spheres on your chest.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.