Belldibzed Cadrakpan is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, bad-tempered ferret.

Belldibzed Cadrakpan created the world four million years ago.

If you believe in Belldibzed Cadrakpan, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Belldibzed Cadrakpan, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Belldibzed Cadrakpan's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Belldibzed Cadrakpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not kill tortoises.

3. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not eat coconuts.