Catcattin is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, pitiless pigeon.

Catcattin created the Cigar Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Catcattin, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Catcattin, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Catcattin's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Catcattin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.