Nulljamnigbass is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, proud swan.

Nulljamnigbass created the planet Venus eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulljamnigbass, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nulljamnigbass, she will try to impress you with trees.

Nulljamnigbass' most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Nulljamnigbass' Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Nulljamnigbass three times a day.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always help aardvarks.