Janwanpon is a god.

He takes the form of a small, generous lobster.

Janwanpon created a strange quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Janwanpon, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Janwanpon, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Janwanpon's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Janwanpon's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Janwanpon.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Janwanpon.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Respect your elders.