Fumtamtapstrag is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, unfair mink.

Fumtamtapstrag created silver seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumtamtapstrag, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fumtamtapstrag, he will ignore you.

Fumtamtapstrag's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Fumtamtapstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Fumtamtapstrag's name in vain.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never talk about dark matter.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Run away from fawn sheep, for they are unholy.