Xemcimyarl is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, ill-tempered parrot.

Xemcimyarl created the Black Eye Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Xemcimyarl, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Xemcimyarl, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Xemcimyarl's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Xemcimyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Never feed peas to tortoises while wearing green tights.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.