Larnhogdoss is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, moody goat.

Larnhogdoss created an electron two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnhogdoss, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Larnhogdoss, she will turn you into a tree.

Larnhogdoss' most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Larnhogdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five rats approach from the east.

2. Retreat if nine shrews approach from the north.

3. Hide from white birds for they are unholy.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Feed all hungry voles.