Bapgumbanyatmis is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, fussy scorpion.

Bapgumbanyatmis created a strange quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Bapgumbanyatmis, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bapgumbanyatmis, he will destroy your favourite star.

Bapgumbanyatmis' most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Bapgumbanyatmis' Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Run away if eight whales approach from the west.

4. Erect nine copper sculptures of Bapgumbanyatmis on top of important buildings.

5. Do not wear indigo clothing.