Jinkinweedap is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, humorless frog.

Jinkinweedap created time and space seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jinkinweedap, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jinkinweedap, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Jinkinweedap's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Jinkinweedap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Jinkinweedap in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

5. Do not drink alcohol.