Pibjaphon is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, witless meerkat.

Pibjaphon created life six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibjaphon, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Pibjaphon, it will cry a lot.

Pibjaphon's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Pibjaphon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Never talk about ducks.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near great tits while wearing magenta dresses and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your arms.

4. Pibjaphon loves birds, so they must be honoured.

5. Never wear green shorts.