Dimpopgil is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, dishonourable fox.

Dimpopgil created snails two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimpopgil, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dimpopgil, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Dimpopgil's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Dimpopgil's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Dimpopgil seven times a day.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never feed lots of aubergines to moths while wearing turquoise coats.

4. Always look after injured hamsters.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.