Quatgupren is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, benevolent bird.

Quatgupren created light eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quatgupren, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quatgupren, he will remove you from existence.

Quatgupren's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Quatgupren's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not wear gray clothing.

4. Seals are not to be trusted.

5. Do not eat limes.