Hugrullzen is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, weak raven.

Hugrullzen created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hugrullzen, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hugrullzen, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Hugrullzen's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Hugrullzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always help shrews.

3. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always take life seriously.