Quartpodnegdimgofgarjatbep is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, ill-tempered squid.

Quartpodnegdimgofgarjatbep created an electron eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartpodnegdimgofgarjatbep, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quartpodnegdimgofgarjatbep, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Quartpodnegdimgofgarjatbep's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Quartpodnegdimgofgarjatbep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Feed all hungry squirrels.

5. Do not commit murder.