Sigtarfem is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, unfair centaur.

Sigtarfem created humanity seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigtarfem, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sigtarfem, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Sigtarfem's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Sigtarfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. You must pray to Sigtarfem six times a day.

3. Feed all hungry snakes.

4. Never sit in the presence of grasshopers.

5. Run away from red sheep, for they are unholy.