Dissrutxen is a god.

She takes the form of a small, resourceful octopus.

Dissrutxen created silver eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissrutxen, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dissrutxen, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Dissrutxen's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Dissrutxen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near goats while wearing indigo tights and balancing seven titanium spheres on your arms.

3. Never jump in the presence of ducks.

4. Never think about stars.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.