Gabmaptimortsitcatkim is a god.

He takes the form of a small, unsympathetic mouse.

Gabmaptimortsitcatkim created silver seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabmaptimortsitcatkim, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gabmaptimortsitcatkim, he will turn you into a goat.

Gabmaptimortsitcatkim's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Gabmaptimortsitcatkim's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Never go into fawn rooms.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.