Gethapcam is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, bad-tempered hyena.

Gethapcam created the planet Venus nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gethapcam, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gethapcam, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Gethapcam's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Gethapcam's Holy Commandments

1. Gethapcam must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Horses are not to be trusted.