Bastcampang is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, prudent raccoon.

Bastcampang created tapeworms eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastcampang, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bastcampang, it will be very sad.

Bastcampang's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Bastcampang's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near badgers.

2. Do not eat aubergines.

3. Never paint your head cyan.

4. Hide from black mice for they are unholy.

5. Never eat bark.