Gemdonhad is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, staggering lizard.

Gemdonhad created time and space seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemdonhad, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gemdonhad, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gemdonhad's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Gemdonhad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics near foxes while wearing cyan shorts and balancing four lead spheres on your head.

2. Never leap in holy places.

3. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.