Motlarpmut is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, dishonourable eagle.

Motlarpmut created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Motlarpmut, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Motlarpmut, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Motlarpmut's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Motlarpmut's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not cook food in pots.