Nulloopgam is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, almighty dog.

Nulloopgam created viruses two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulloopgam, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nulloopgam, he will throw large rocks at you.

Nulloopgam's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Nulloopgam's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never sing near mites.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never pour water over plants.