Lamhogpag is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, witless lizard.

Lamhogpag created silver six million years ago.

If you believe in Lamhogpag, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lamhogpag, it will torture you forever.

Lamhogpag's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Lamhogpag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not take Lamhogpag's name in vain.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not kill porpoises.

5. Never write about bacteria.