Jantipvad is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, blissful horse.

Jantipvad created the world five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jantipvad, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jantipvad, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Jantipvad's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Jantipvad's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jantipvad.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. You must never eat oranges.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Run away if seven ducks approach from the south.