Bellhublarp is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unsympathetic bear.

Bellhublarp created tapeworms four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bellhublarp, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bellhublarp, he will make you grow a tail.

Bellhublarp's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Bellhublarp's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from green voles, for they are unholy.

2. Bellhublarp must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never wear mauve corsets.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.