Sisontjopripfarhitfidxuc is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, ill-tempered porpoise.

Sisontjopripfarhitfidxuc created matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sisontjopripfarhitfidxuc, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sisontjopripfarhitfidxuc, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Sisontjopripfarhitfidxuc's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Sisontjopripfarhitfidxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill ants.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. You must never eat parsnips.