Zenyarcuss is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, resourceful dingo.

Zenyarcuss created dark energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenyarcuss, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zenyarcuss, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Zenyarcuss' most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Zenyarcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick cats.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not speak about cucumbers.