Vegcaptad is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, grumpy dugong.

Vegcaptad created a bottom quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vegcaptad, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Vegcaptad, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Vegcaptad's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Vegcaptad's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

2. Do not wear platinum on your body.

3. Always wear white.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never think ill of sick ducks.