Yarplogcip is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, stupid dog.

Yarplogcip created everything that exists four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarplogcip, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yarplogcip, she will make you grow a tail.

Yarplogcip's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Yarplogcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat figs.

2. Never look at dwarf planets.

3. You must pray to Yarplogcip eight times a day.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not drink water in purple rooms.