Hugvenstafvadrat Pitgemceb is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, stupid manatee.

Hugvenstafvadrat Pitgemceb created parasitic wasps five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hugvenstafvadrat Pitgemceb, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hugvenstafvadrat Pitgemceb, he will turn you into a slug.

Hugvenstafvadrat Pitgemceb's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Hugvenstafvadrat Pitgemceb's Holy Commandments

1. Always help gulls.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always stare at clouds.