Pibcudjam is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unselfish guinea pig.

Pibcudjam created an up quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pibcudjam, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Pibcudjam, he will remove you from existence.

Pibcudjam's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Pibcudjam's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Birds are not to be trusted.

3. Never talk about dark matter near seals while wearing pink scarves and balancing nine titanium spheres on your chest.

4. Never talk about manatees.

5. Run away if five eagles approach from the west.