Wikhabgen is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, merciful troll.

Wikhabgen created everything that exists nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Wikhabgen, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wikhabgen, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Wikhabgen's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Wikhabgen's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Wikhabgen in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always pray immersed in water.