Nibcipjip is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, contented wren.

Nibcipjip created a charm quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nibcipjip, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nibcipjip, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nibcipjip's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Nibcipjip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three frogs in a large pit.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near grasshopers while wearing violet jumpers and balancing eight aluminium spheres on your legs.

3. Always wear turquoise.

4. Do not speak about coconuts.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.