Tunyamcin is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, tranquil mink.

Tunyamcin created humankind eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tunyamcin, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tunyamcin, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tunyamcin's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Tunyamcin's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tunyamcin.

3. Never talk about porpoises.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Tunyamcin.