Yarlzakbum is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, humorless fly.

Yarlzakbum created the Tadpole Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarlzakbum, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yarlzakbum, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Yarlzakbum's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Yarlzakbum's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not speak about nuts.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Never think about dark matter near porpoises while wearing magenta corsets and balancing four lead spheres on your legs.

5. Run away from pink great tits, for they are unholy.