Yarlzakbum is a god.
He takes the form of a planet-sized, humorless
fly.
Yarlzakbum created the Tadpole Galaxy seven trillion years ago.
If you believe in
Yarlzakbum, he will smite all your enemies.
If you do not believe in
Yarlzakbum, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.
Yarlzakbum's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.
Yarlzakbum's Holy Commandments1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.
2. Do not speak about nuts.
3. Never talk about moons.
4. Never think about dark matter near porpoises while wearing magenta corsets and balancing four lead spheres on your legs.
5. Run away from pink great tits, for they are unholy.