Nildotdiss is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, unfair narwhal.

Nildotdiss created bats three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nildotdiss, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nildotdiss, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Nildotdiss' most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Nildotdiss' Holy Commandments

1. Always wear pink.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never mention badgers.