Tamteenjig is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, blissful chicken.

Tamteenjig created time and space five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tamteenjig, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tamteenjig, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tamteenjig's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Tamteenjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick mice.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Never feed cucumbers to swans while wearing skirts.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Do not shave your hands.