Queeggepcab is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, caring cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Queeggepcab created Europe eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Queeggepcab, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Queeggepcab, it will turn you into a rock.

Queeggepcab's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Queeggepcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always wear brown.

5. Do not take Queeggepcab's name in vain.