Faddinpan is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, thoughtless narwhal.

Faddinpan created the planet Saturn eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Faddinpan, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Faddinpan, he will jump up and down on your head.

Faddinpan's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Faddinpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

2. Never wear orange rings.

3. Always look after injured sharks.

4. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.