Kamfubtonk is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, unfair hyena.

Kamfubtonk created humankind three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kamfubtonk, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kamfubtonk, she will strike you with lightening.

Kamfubtonk's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Kamfubtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always help sick squirrels.

3. Always help otters in need.

4. Never go into red rooms.

5. Never feed lots of spinach to voles while wearing purple scarves.