Teencinkom is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, omniscient badger.

Teencinkom created gold six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teencinkom, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Teencinkom, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Teencinkom's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Teencinkom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Do not kill eagles.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.