Kimsterpit is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, duplicitous chicken.

Kimsterpit created gold two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kimsterpit, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kimsterpit, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Kimsterpit's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Kimsterpit's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not dye your hair yellow.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never talk about dogs.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.