Labgessbam is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, wise centipede.

Labgessbam created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labgessbam, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Labgessbam, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Labgessbam's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Labgessbam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

2. Do not keep four monkeys in a large pit.

3. Do not kill bats.

4. Do not wear zinc on your body.

5. Never eat peas.