Giljapflow Kamjondodtag is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, duplicitous turtle.

Giljapflow Kamjondodtag created everything that exists two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Giljapflow Kamjondodtag, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Giljapflow Kamjondodtag, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Giljapflow Kamjondodtag's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Giljapflow Kamjondodtag's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never talk about dogs.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.