Bimcidlakhak is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, all-powerful snake.

Bimcidlakhak created a quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimcidlakhak, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bimcidlakhak, it will make you grow a tail.

Bimcidlakhak's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Bimcidlakhak's Holy Commandments

1. Put Bimcidlakhak first in all things.

2. Always look after injured tapirs.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always help horses.