Konlarpciss is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, self-assured toad.

Konlarpciss created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Konlarpciss, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Konlarpciss, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Konlarpciss' most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Konlarpciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt badgers.

2. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not wear brown clothing.

5. Always take life seriously.