Gepveg is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, slow shark.

Gepveg created the planet Earth eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepveg, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gepveg, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gepveg's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Gepveg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant in public.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near rats while wearing turquoise stockings and balancing six tin spheres on your back.

5. Do not stand on grass.