Volsigtim is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, passionate lizard.

Volsigtim created a strange quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Volsigtim, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Volsigtim, it will remove you from existence.

Volsigtim's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Volsigtim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Put Volsigtim first in all things.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never think ill of sick gulls.

5. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.