Rakzodlan is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, selfish turtle.

Rakzodlan created a quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Rakzodlan, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Rakzodlan, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Rakzodlan's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Rakzodlan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not hurt cats.

5. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.